The advice columnist Ann Landers once noted, “All marriages are happy, it’s the living together that’s tough.” Or to quote Bill Murray in Ghostbusters, “Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!” Of course, every relationship has its own dynamics. The challenges two people face when combining lives and households are uniquely theirs. That said, here are a few general tips for when the big move-in day comes. Shockingly, they might even end up bringing you closer together.
EMBRACE THE DOWNSIZING
Just accept it: some things are going to have to go. How to make that a positive experience? First, you can involve your partner in the decision-making process. Who knows? They might agree to put some things in storage if you are super-nice about it. As for the things that have to go? Donate them to charity, where they can do some good. But don’t be a push-over either. Decide on “must-haves” that are staying, no matter what. Make your stand.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER THE CLOSET
A little inventiveness can help defuse the potential conflicts that come with a shared closet. That’s especially important in small quarters. Divide the space equally, then use such organizational hacks as boxes and riders to store your clothes.
PLAN YOUR ESCAPE
Whether you call it a “man cave” or a “she shed,” we all need a place where we can decompress and escape the world – and everyone else in it. So plant your flag in the unfinished basement or the overgrown backyard or even in that spot by the window in the home office. Just don’t resent it when your partner tells you they want a corner to call their own, too.
MAXIMIZE SPACE
If you’re still feeling crammed after your mutual purging, deploy any number of tricks to make your living space seem more spacious than it is. These include hanging window treatments higher than the window frame, even to the ceiling. Decorate in light colors. And invest in furniture – ottomans, and benches, for example – that can double as clutter-concealing storage containers.
BUY STUFF TOGETHER
After you have both settled into your new living arrangements, take time to shop. Decide on items that appeal to both of you. Even small household items like blenders, toasters, and microwaves can define a shared personal style. For big-ticket items like appliances and living room furniture, go exploring online first before making any decision. The last thing you want to do is buy something you both (or worse, one of you) regrets later.